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Thursday, June 6, 2013

And the battle continues

The battle with my well being that is. As most of you already know I struggle daily with Rheumatoid and osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia. Some days are far worse than others. But in all honesty there really are not many days at all that I wake up and can say I feel good. Matter of fact, I cant remember the last time. Yeah I know we always raise a big garden here and chickens and all sorts of things "homesteading" but you already know I do not do this alone. Rodger does the physical part with the help of Jason and his girlfriend when she is not working. Bless em. Without help no way could we get it all done. Not to mention if I have a good day, I always get out and over do it and spend the next week trying to recover. It is hard for people to understand when you look fine on the outside but people around you have no idea how much pain you are in. Little things that are difficult and painful. Simple things that most people take for granted. Something as simple as hopping out of the car at a gas station to run in and get a drink. Takes me a lil longer. I have to compete with the sore stiff joints then make sure I have my balance so as to not get arrested. Then you move a lil slower because your feet don't get the message from your brain fast enough to keep you from tripping off the curb. Embarrassing to say the least. So you learn to avoid doing these lil things that most people take for granted. Daily life is filled with struggles like this all day. Then there are the meds to help the pain and combat the Arthritis. You take immuno-suppressant drugs that suppress the immune system and IF you get out much at all you end up catching every bug out there with a lower immune system. The meds to manage the fibro make you dizzy, decreased pain sensations all over your body which can be good but also bad. You use caution clipping nails so as to not cut yourself because you cant feel the pain till you bleed and bleeding don't stop fast either with the arthritis meds. Fibro is not as simple as finding the problem and treating it. It is a multi-faceted illness. Effects so many parts of the person. Pain, soreness, stiff joints, headaches, vision problems, digestive problems , I could go on and on. Today may be one thing, tomorrow something else. So no one medication or self help method works for all of them. If only it was as easy as taking a pain pill and just forget it, gosh how nice would that be. But it don't work that easy. Then add in the work injuries from a few years back and the long and short is, I am a mess. My back is a pain in the back, my knees need replaced, surgery on both shoulders and both elbows and they still hurt really bad. One shoulder has bursitis according to the ortho doc who did the surgery. If my life involves stairs, it wont happen. My knees don't do stairs. Tomorrow I start the Synvasc(?) injections in both knees. Each knee gets a series of 3 injections. So 6 total trips to the RA doc for those. Even with insurance this crap is not cheap. But will be worth it if it helps the leg and knee pain and allows me to walk a lil better or longer without having to have knee replacement. I just sure hope the injections work and help. For some folks they work for a long time, others not as long. Life is hard, harder for some than others. I will survive. If you have a friend or family member with fibro and/or arthritis, be patient with them, its hard to cope when you cant do the things your mind still wants to do. If they don't feel like going out, be understanding and take time to just sit an visit and talk with them. Its hard enough NOT being able to live life as we did in the past much less feel rejected by friends and family because you don't feel well or are not physically able to join in social functions anymore. We may be sick but we still need our friends and family. Not many understand that tho, sadly.

I walked out back this evening when I went out to get the eggs to see if my lettuce and Lima beans were up yet. An behold the lettuce was up, the beans, not yet. A lil soon for them maybe. The tomatoes and broccoli we planted out back looks better and seems to have grown an inch since we had some good rain today. We got a lil wind and a good heavy rain for bout a half hour or so. The rain will sure help the big garden too and get the peppers and stuff off to a good start over there. After my doc appointment tomorrow, not sure about my mobility, but we need to pick strawberries again and freeze them. I had started out today to pick the bed by the driveway when the rain came and chased me inside. Rodger may be picking berries alone tomorrow evening.

Not much else happening here on the farm, so till next time, blessings from the McGuire homestead.


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